Do you feel that you are unappreciated? Do you feel as though your eager and selfless contributions of time and energy are resented, disrespected and undervalued? Sadly, often people who are ‘compulsively’ helpful are usually worse than unappreciated.
Here are some tell-tale signs you are 'compulsively helpful':
Are you proud that you have the strength to keep giving and giving?
Would you ever describe yourself as compulsively giving?
Do you sometimes seethe with anger when your friends or loved ones don't do what you think they should do, after all you’ve done for them?
Has anyone said to you: " I can take care of this myself?" or
"You're spoiling him?" or
"You're teaching him to be helpless?" or
"It's their life, let them make their own mistakes?"
If you answered 'YES' to any of the above questions, you use ‘giving’ as a way of not dealing with your own life, or your own dreams. You might use it as a way of disguising your need to control others. You might believe you are only trying to be helpful, but you are really ‘controlling’!
This guarantees you won't be treated well by others.
Why? Usually, it's because deep down you know you're using 'giving' as a way of not dealing with your own life, your own dreams. Giving can be a way of disguising from yourself your desire to control and interfere with others. You may believe you're just being helpful. But in reality, you are perceived by others as having unacknowledged motives.
Have you been betrayed after giving to others for quite a while? In a passive-aggressive way others may be showing you that your giving may not be nearly as selfless as you might think.
Does giving give you a lift?
This might be a hushed power or energy-grab. Imagine being on a date with someone who opens the door, pulls out your chair for you, hands you your napkin, orders for you, and also reaches over to wipe your mouth while you eat. You would probably feel insulted at being treated like an incompetent child.
Can you imagine how your own giving may actually be a means of making yourself feel needed or useful? Or being 'one-up' on others? This might actually make others feel undermined, insulted and eventually resentful.
What to do about it? You’ve probably heard it before...
1. LET GO OF OTHERS to be embraced wholeheartedly and loved by others. If you are truly a compulsive giver, you really do want the best for others.
2. Start to really live your fullest life. Reclaim your forgotten dreams and goals.
Re-align your spirit with those goals so that you can manifest and live them.
3. Let your dreams begin to breathe again. Open yourself and allow yourself to receive your true good in living your own life. Let others find their own path to their lessons, dreams and life purpose.
Who would have thought so much could come from giving so much less?
Amirah © 2006 All Rights Reserved.
You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication is appreciated.
Amirah, a 25-year Intuitive Life Coach, Author, Speaker helps individuals gain insight, clarity and understanding in their own lives making positive life changes. She helps uncover and transform hidden fears and beliefs that limit potential.
